Focus!

There are so many things that I wanted to create and share on this blog since ages. So many - I don't even know where to start. I have a very impulsive mind and I rather suffer from the many ideas that come into my head than make and actual profit of it. All of them, the ideas, really want my attention and to get materialised one day, or rather just right now, and if they don't - some of them start nagging me till I cry, can you imagine? And then they get angry and pretty cruel! I tell them to stand in line and wait for their turn, and what most of them do is just roll their eyes, start taking long loud breaths to show how 'patient' they are, one starts tapping its foot to the ground, eventually start moaning. I get soft and when I turn to the most impatient one somewhere in the middle of the queue, kindly giving her a warm hug and offering to go to the front of the crowd, despite all the other ideas that are there in front  of her already. And I kindly ask what can I do to make her existence come true, but what she does is getting all bitchy, stops talking to me at all and turns her eyes away.. Apparently, I've been neglecting her for so long and she's so heart broken now, it's too hard for her to talk to me anymore. Our relationship is ruined forever. With lots of patience I have to start guessing, offering her a cup of tea and somehow trick her into sharing her life-changing existential goal with me. Maybe she'll still give me her blessing and I can create something beautiful out of it.

And that's everyday. Multitasking, managing, dealing, staying patient yet vivid with all the ideas that pop into my mind and scream for attention. And I better recognise the best ones fast, and I better get on doing what they say, 'cause no matter how genius they are - they won't be standing there for ages waiting for their turn in line. They are very undisciplined, you know! They are like little babies, little untamed kiddos. But that's why they are amazing at the very same time. A creative idea, just like a kid full of phantasy, won't be sitting there, killing off all its energy, just to be able to play 'on its given time'. Ideas, like kids, grow if you give them the time and space to grow into something amazing. They might become your inspiration well, your best friends, an amazing part of your identity. Now, I don't know how this turned into some essay about how a child becomes your identity, but that's what it's all about right now. What I want to say is - be careful with ideas that pop into your head. Take a good first scan and decide on just a few which will stand in the queue to become realised. As shiny and sparkly some of them might look - they will have to be sent away in order for you to built just a few bigger stronger projects at a time. Some might eventually come back again, maybe even more developed and advanced by the time.

So stay focused.

The photo shoot is from July last year on a beach on Helgoland, one of the photo experiments which my friend Indre Winterrain helped me to work on. Born out of another idea which was luckily standing in line with a little bit of patience. Luckily, I didn't let her stand there in the never ending queue for too long.

Water Colour Powder Cloud

Happy belated International Woman's Day all ladies reading this blog. Let me just start by saying THIS IS ONE OF THE VERY BEST FUN PHOTO SHOOTS I'VE EVER DONE! Indre, once again that same multi-talent Indre Winterrain who knits all my hats, scarfs and headbands, helped me out with some photo games when I was still living in my little North Sea island Helgoland. She's helped me in cold winter days or cold summer evenings by supplying all her body and willingness just to get those shots. Wonderful woman with wonderful power ♥

I ordered some holi festival color powder last minute online and off we went. Sunset twilight at the Helgoland beach back in July 2015 and Indre in the cold carried by the sea. I overall love the result and am so looking forward for more of that kind! but my favourites are not with the powder in the air in funny split-of-a-second-shapes but rather the 'left overs' on my models skin, the mixture of different colour 'stains' all over her body and face. Joy oh joy!

A rather short text post this time! Some of the smoke bomb shoots still in preparation and to come soon.

back in time

i wish we could go on a hike again. i wish i could capture her movement, her heart, hear thought again and more often. i wish we could talk again sometimes. the labyrinths behind aquamarine eyes would soften and let the daylight through. i don't wish for anything to be the same. but for new ways. new hikes.

The Girl who was a Fox

one good side about living on an island far far away is that friends want to eventually come and see it and see me. Helgoland seems to be an island where 'no one has ever been but was always curious to come and check it out'. as i am here right now, some adventurous friends dare it and take a weekend or more off for a short discovery trip. when i get visits here, they mostly are intense and very cozy, i show around the island, tell stories about baby seals, show the ocean horizon all around this tiny little island. we bond on this island much more, more intense than while i was still living on the mainland, where on weekends eventually you come together for a party or a dinner, but rarely experience a face to face time over a few days. then i bring them back to the boat and wave good bye. Maren came to visit me last weekend. she is a girl fox and she writes beautiful songs. i first met her outside of a café in Bochum where she was knitting a big fluffy Iceland style pullover, as she had spent lots of time living in Iceland. the second time i saw her in a sweater with a fox picture. i immediately had to show her my fox earrings i was wearing those days. on the last day of her Helgoland visit the sun was tickling my bedroom wall. we got inspired and played around for the sake of beauty.

for Maren's music you can check her page Girl and the Fox or visit her facebook site.

her left arm/shoulder tattoo was made by the Expanded Eye art duo, also to be found on facebook and instagram.

her right lower arm tattoo the leaf was designed by... me! <3 the ones who know me have seen it many times changing on my arm or had been given one, too, with my legendary permanent CD marker. since 2012 random examples one, two, three, four, five are to be found on my old blog. Maren eventually got it inked in Iceland.

ps:

“Just that,” said the fox. “To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world …”

Photography Adventure #3: Meadow Magic

From my left way up to the dark sky and down on my right I see the borders of our galaxy. The milky way all blooming in an August nights gloom. I live my dream - I live at the sea. Not only at the sea - I live IN the sea. Helgoland isn’t set at the water, it is far away in the north sea and contains out of sea shores as it is such a tiny piece of land. Often I make a late night run or walk around the island just to remember where I am and what my personal paradise feels like. while letting some music on my earphones give the rhythm to my steps, with my hips I start invisibly dancing. The beauty and whole sense of living here is to have the treasure just seconds away from the home door. It is above fantastic to be able to reach the beach and escape to the meditation zone within minutes.

When I go out past sunset it is like going to my very own personal Church. Here is where in my mind I pray in positive vibrations rather than thoughts, and above all I sense gratefulness. Here I sense - God remembers what I crave for, and I don’t really need to think in sentences. Stars replace candles, last bits of the setting sun replace all the golden framed imagery and the the smell of salted waves seals the whole deal of sacredness.

My Church feels more like a safety zone that way. I remember my own dreams and my real me doesn’t have to hide anymore neither fit in some kind of shapes.

The lighthouse scans the sky in ever same steps reminding us of how far away we actually are. The windmills in the far north join my earphone music with their collectively blinking red lights.

When I start heading home I am clean and free again. Super free, filled with air and freedom for the eye in such a tiny closed pinch of land miles and miles away from mainland. No real place to escape, and yet feeling more free and connected than ever.

How ever life goes on and no matter how much longer I stay here, this island will always stay the place for me, where I found peace and for a few seconds there decoded the sense of life.

Photos underneath of when Indre Winterrain was visiting and we went out for more photographic adventure.